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CMEUK

That night, as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said: "I have something important to tell you." She sat down, wordless throughout dinner. I could see the pain in her eyes. Suddenly, I was also wordless. But I had to tell her what was on my mind. I wanted a divorce and was hoping to discuss the matter calmly.She didn’t seem upset with what I had to say and simply asked in a low voice: "Why?"I avoided answering, which made her very angry. She threw the silverware and shouted: "You're not a man!" We said nothing else to each other that night. I could hear her crying. I knew she wanted an explanation for why I was ending our marriage. Yet, I didn’t have a good enough answer. My heart no longer belonged to her, but to Jane. I just didn’t love her anymore; I felt sorry for her. Feeling very guilty, I wrote up a divorce agreement; leaving her the house, our car and 30% of my company shares.She took the paper out of my hand and tore it up violently. The woman I’d lived with for the past 10 years had become a stranger. I regretted having wasted my time and energy, but I wouldn’t take back what I said because I was deeply in love with Jane. As expected, she began crying out loud in front of me. As she cried, I felt liberated. I was fixated on getting a divorce over the past few weeks and now it was finally happening; the end was near.The next day I got home late and found her sitting at the table, writing. I skipped dinner and went straight to bed. I was so tired from spending the day with Jane that I immediately fell asleep.I woke up in the middle of the night and found her still sitting at the table, writing. I ignored her and went back to sleep.The next morning, she presented me with the following conditions: she didn’t want anything from me. She only asked for me to give her a month before finalizing the divorce. She asked that we try to live together as naturally as possible during the next 30 days. Her reasons for this request were simple: our son would be taking very important exams next month and needed a supportive environment so that he could be well-prepared without the hassle of having to deal with his parent’s divorce.It seemed reasonable, but then she said there was something else. She reminded me of when I carried her into our house on our wedding day and asked me to carry her out of the house every morning for the next 30 days. I thought she was completely crazy, but agreed to her request so that the following days could be a little less intolerable.I told Jane about what my wife had requested, she laughed and thought the idea was totally ridiculous. “She thinks that by imposing conditions she’ll change something. She’d better face the facts and just accept the divorce." said Jane, sarcastically.My wife and I had had no physical contact for a long time, so it felt totally weird to carry her out of the house the first day. Our son clapped and said, "Daddy’s carrying mommy in his arms!" His words made me embarrassed. From the bedroom to the living room, from the living room to the front door; I must have carried her for about 30 feet. She closed her eyes and said softly: "Don’t tell our son about the divorce." I nodded my head, even though I disagreed and then put her down after we crossed the doorway of the house. She took the bus to work and I drove to the office.The second day was easier for both of us. She leaned in on my chest and I could smell her perfume. I thought about how long it’d been since I’d given this woman any attention. She certainly had aged over the past 10 years; there were wrinkles on her face and her hair was getting thin and gray. Our marriage had taken a toll on her. It got me thinking, for a few seconds, about what I had done to get her like this.When I picked her up on the fourth day, I felt a greater intimacy with her body held up to mine. This woman had dedicated 10 years of her life to me. The same thing happened on the fifth day. I didn’t say anything to Jane but it was getting easier to carry her from our room to the front door. "Maybe my muscles are getting stronger because of all this exercise,” I thought.One morning she was trying to choose a dress to wear. She tried on several dresses but couldn’t find one that fit properly. With a sigh, she said: "All my dresses are too big on me." I figured out the reason why it had become so easy to carry her these last few days; she had lost weight.Reality hit and I felt a bit of remorse. She carries so much pain and sadness in her heart... Instinctively, I reached out and touched her hair. Our son came into the bedroom and said, "Dad, it's time for you to carry mom." It had become routine for him to see his father carrying his mother every morning through the house. My wife hugged our son and held him in her arms for a few seconds. I had to get away, fearing that I would change my mind now that I was so close to my goal. Then, I took her in my arms and carried her from the bedroom to the living room and from the living room to the front door. Her hand rested on my neck. I held her tight against my body. It reminded me of our wedding day.Seeing how skinny she was made me sad. On the last day, as I held her in my arms, for some reason I couldn’t move my legs. Our son had already left to school and I found myself saying the following words: "I didn’t realise how much intimacy we’d lost over time."I was unable to drive to work. I went to my future new address; I hurried out of my car, afraid to change my mind. I climbed the stairs and knocked on the bedroom door. Jane opened the door and I said to her: "I’m sorry, Jane. I’m not getting a divorce anymore." She looked at me in disbelief and touched my forehead: "You must have a fever?" I took her hand away from my forehead and repeated, "Sorry, Jane. I’m not getting divorced. My marriage was boring because we didn’t know how to value the small things in life and not because we didn’t love each other. Now I know that, the same way I carried my wife over the threshold on our wedding day, is the same way I should carry her until death do us part.Jane now knew that I was serious. She slapped me in the face, slammed the door and I could hear her crying hysterically. I went back to my car and went to work.On my way back home, I stopped by the flower shop and bought a bouquet of roses for my wife. The store clerk asked what I would like to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: "I will carry you in my arms every morning until death do us part."That night, when I got home with a bouquet of flowers in my hand and a big smile on my face, I went straight to our room where I found my wife lying in bed, lifeless.My wife had cancer and had been receiving treatment over the last few months, but I was too busy with Jane to notice that something was wrong. She knew that she would die soon and wanted to spare our son from having to deal with our divorce. That’s why she prolonged our life together. She wanted to leave our son the memory of seeing us together every morning. At least in my son’s eyes, I’m a loving husband.It’s the small details that really make a difference in a relationship. It’s not a mansion, a car, properties or the money in the bank. These things are helpful in creating a happy environment but it doesn’t provide anything more than comfort. So find time to be your wife’s friend; do little things for each other to keep yourselves close and intimate with one another. Have a genuine, happy marriage!Many who have failed in life are people who didn’t realise how close they were to success and chose to give up.

Is your marriage genuine?

UK BASED RECORDING TRIO UK based trio of Zambian song bird Elaka, DJ Marlon "The Raging Bull" and veteran song writer Mukuka aka "San Saan" recently got together in a London studio and recorded a political song. The track called 'Tulemibechula' was penned by Mukuka who is the lead singer in the track. Backing vocals are by the sexy Elaka and a powerful voice message by Marlon."I have decided to come out rather than being in the back ground as a song writer, this is the begining, more is on the way" said Mukuka. "It was quite amazing and exiting being in a proper studio"added the "Raging Bull""All is fine I liked the song thats why I jumped on the wagon, Im looking foward to more projects like this" Elaka hinted.Photos on the left are of the trio in a recording studio in London.Listen to the song and send your comment.

PLAY

song - "Tulemibechula"lead singer/writer - Mukukabacking vocals - Elakamessage voice/writer - Marlon

Busy in the studio

ZUMA; MANY WIFES,MANY OFFICIAL CARS President Jacob Zuma and two of his wives arriving France Sources report that President Jacob Zuma's polygamy practice is costing the state dearly, as all wives want an official car. The police force denies these reports. Following South African press reports, the country main opposition party, the Democratic Alliance (DA) yesterday joined the wave of "concern" over the alleged costs following President Zuma's many wives and girlfriends.DA spokesman Athol Trollip said the party was "concerned by reports that President Jacob Zuma is seeking to hire luxury vehicles in each of seven provinces for the purpose of transporting his wives. Thus far, over rand 69 million [US$ 10 million] has been wasted by this administration on luxury vehicles," Mr Trollip added.The DA spokesman said this excessive spending on President Zuma's wives only represented "the Presidency’s latest expenditure scandal," listing several examples of "misuse of public funds," including some rand 200 million (US$ 29 million) "allocated to the upgrading of the President's Pretoria residence over the next three years." The controversy, received gratefully by the South African opposition, started by press reports that President Zuma's three wives and one girlfriend were the reason behind a newly revealed tender for seven new luxury cars. South African media concluded these new cars could only be needed by the many female companions of the President.Reports carried by South African media earlier this week claimed that President Zuma "wants seven more luxury cars permanently available for his wives."Today, he South African Police Service (SAPS) slammed as "inaccurate and misleading" newspaper reports regarding the renting of cars for President Zuma's wives, saying there was nothing untoward about it.However, the SAPS statement said that the need for the vehicles formed part of a tender process that was recently advertised as a result of the cessation of a previous tender. "In other words, this is by no means an introduction of something new that the vehicles must be hired for use by the spouses of the President when fulfilling their roles in support of the President," the statement said.The vehicles were said to form part of the security provisions for the spouses and providing them fell under the mandate of police. "Therefore, it is not the President who 'wants' the cars, as stated by independent newspapers. It is a routine operational issue by SAPS, which has nothing to do with the Presidency," the police force clarified.It added that the vehicles would be for hire and did not have to be "permanently available" as indicated by South African journalists. "The cost of hiring these vehicles does not encroach on the security issues per se," the South African police concluded. The SAPS finally said it had decided not to disclose the cost of hiring the vehicles because to do so would give an indication to potential bidder what rates they should tender.President Zuma himself has not commented on the scandal. He is currently on an official state visit in France, with two of his wives.

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zamuk copyrights 2011 - Uncle Ronnie, London

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Centre for Management Excellence UK (CMEUK) delivered a two weeks programme on “Improving Public Service Delivery” at the Institute of Directors 116 Pall Mall London to a visiting delegation from Prime Minister’s Office, Regional Administration and Local Government (PMO-RALG) Tanzania. http://www.pmoralg.go.tz/PMO-RALG also referred to as TAMISEMI which has its headquarters in Dodoma is the largest Ministry in Tanzania. The programme tackled Key issues facing public sector delivery Globally, UK and in Tanzania. CMEUK featured 6 highly experience UK based consultants. The chairman and main speaker at the meeting was Mr. Tony Lavender a former senior administrator at Cabinet Office UK who also served as Deputy Director of UK Civil Service College. Tony is an accredited DFID Governance Consultant who has delivered consultancies in over 20 Countries abroad including Tanzania. The panel of discussants included CMEUK’s senior consultant Dr. Richard Hale a Leadership and Management expert who provided consultancy on Needs Assessment for Tanzania Public Service College (TPSC) in 2011 sponsored by the Commonwealth Secretariat. Dr. Richard Hale in 2012 led CMEUK’s consultancy on Public Sector Reform to Cabinet Office, Government of the Republic of Zambia funded by the World Bank. Core elements of the programme were:•Key issues affecting Public Sector delivery Global and Local•Organisational Reforms•Essential Consultancy Skills •Leadership in Action•Impact and Influence •Effective Communication Strategies•Succession Planning and Change Management•Project and Programme Management•Monitoring and Evaluation •Knowledge Management The programme arranged and hosted by CMEUK’s Managing Consultant Godwin Lewanika ended on Thursday 17 April 2014 in attendance was TAMISEMI’s Permanent Secretary Mr Jumanne Sagini. During the month of April, Godwin Lewanika also organised 3 weeks programme for TAMESI’s project engineers in Kuala Lumpur Malaysia covering; Project and Programme Management, Monitoring and Control as well as Strategic Planning. The Malaysia programme included a Benchmarking/knowledge sharing visit to MMC Corporation the largest Engineering and Construction Company in Malaysia.CLICK HERE FOR PHOTOS

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